Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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