Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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