people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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sky silverstein

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops