Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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