I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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