Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops