Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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