What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Global Warming.

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What do you call a women out of the Kitchen? Nothing because they shouldn't be

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What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

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You.

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William Raines.

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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make me a sandwich!

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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