Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops