=3

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Equal rights!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops