What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops