What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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Bitch

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What's half of 8? o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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