What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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your so fat. your fat!

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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hello

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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