What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

The Big Band Theory

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

I have read the terms and conditions

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

what did one computer say to the other .........

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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