What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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