What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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