why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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THe Election

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What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops