How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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YOU

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops