what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

I? Everett

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

WNBA

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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