What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...