A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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men's rights activists

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops