A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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4 hours later.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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