A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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A guy walks into a bar

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops