Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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my egg roll

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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