a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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pobody's nerfect

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Faithful men.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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