KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i dont fisish anythi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops