Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Happy Monday!

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops