Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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