What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops