Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

A praying mantis is very graceful

Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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