A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Jess Burns

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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