Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Your mom.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops