Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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Knock knock! Yes?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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Hello world

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

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Hey, come here often? No.

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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