A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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