What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops