- Anti Joke

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath