Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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