What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops