Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A lot eh?

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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