Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops