Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops