Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

thumb_up thumb_down -26

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

thumb_up thumb_down -26

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops