What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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