Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

Why is there trees? Because they change color... Oh yeah and for oxygen by Burflared

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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