Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the boy die? because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops