A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Women's rights

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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DERP

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops