what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

Lockerbie bombing

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

Jess Burns

the cow goes moo

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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