How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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