crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +41

I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

thumb_up thumb_down +41

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops