what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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autistic kids rock

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops