A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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