What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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