Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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