If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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