what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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